Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

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DISCLAIMER:
The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

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I don't know if this is really a question that can be addressed on this blog but I am actually looking for some advice on something that disturbed me beyond words yesterday. I am almost 35 and I have been reading ff for just under a year. I have been on twitter for about 7 months. I am not ashamed that twitter led me to some tumblr accounts and we all know what is on tumblr... besides RP. Well I sometimes jump around looking for a new account that I might like with pictures that I haven't already seen a dozen times and I somehow stumbled upon a tumblr with very young girls on it. I admit I am a terrible judge of age. I've seen 14 year olds that look 20 and 21 year olds that look like they are 14. If I see couples that are a little young for my taste I leave the archive but this site was clearly child pornography and I wanted to puke. I left the site immediately. Deleted my history. Purged my cache. Deleted cookies and was disturbed for the rest of the night. I guess I was naive and it never crossed my mind that I would stumble upon this stuff. I want to report the tumblr account and I have no idea how. I wanted to ask if anyone at the PPSS has ever been in this situation when perusing through tumblr porn. I feel sick. Although I only saw thumbnails for less than 30 seconds, these girls were clearly preteen and under... way under. I think I might be staying away from Tumblr permanently because I never want to experience that feeling again. Thanks for any advice you can give. Sending you a twitter message so you know who this is from.

Since you and I communicated directly regarding this issue, and you gave me your consent, I shared your experience with other Pervs to see if they had any advice or suggestions to offer; although you gave me clearance to use your name, I opted to keep it confidential.

Here is the basic contact information in order to report the tumblr you found:

Tumblr: Violation of our Content Policy, please pass the URL on to support@tumblr.com.
In general, most of the Pervs are very careful in the tumblrs they choose to visit. Rarely do they drill down to look at other tumblrs where the image might have come from.

Here are some additional resources:

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

The FBI's site for crimes relating to Child Exploitation

For international readers, The Internet Watch Foundation

Thank you for turning your disturbing experience into a lesson that we can all learn from; I'm really sorry you stumbled upon something you definitely weren't looking for. It serves as a reminder to us all that even though our online viewing habits may be passive and well intentioned by nature, not everything we run across will be equally as innocent.

I'm interested in something from the last post. Attraction, pheromones, and scents. My mom & dad fell in love young. My dad had sinus issues about 10 years ago and when he went in for a routine procedure the Dr. nicked his brain, didn't tell him, he ended up having an 8 hour brain surgery and grafts put in his sinuses and a whole bunch of other things. It was intense. He hasn't been the same since.
More on topic though, he lost his sense of smell. Only in certain areas (mostly by the beach, and even then he has to keep his mouth open to help assist in getting the smell). Would that effect him romantically since he can no longer smell? What if someone never had a sense of smell?

I'm so sorry that your dad's simple operation turned into brain surgery, with some significant consequences. While we would love to say that all medical procedures are risk free, that simply isn't the case, as your dad's experience proves. Give him a nursie hug on my behalf, okay?

If this had happened to your dad when he was younger, before he met your mom, it could have had an impact on his romantic connections. I'm not saying it would have made him fall in love with a dramatically different person. It's more like a blind person adapting to the world without being able to see. They still experience a full life despite the fact that their experience is different from ours. The same can be said for a person who never had a sense of smell--they don't know what they're missing, because they have never known what it was in the first place. Their attraction to partners is likely fueled by other sources of attraction.

There are a lot of different factors that comprise our attraction to a specific person. While individuals do have a specific scent that is uniquely their own, think about all the reasons you yourself fall in love with a person. It's more about their physical being, looks, personality, habits, likes and dislikes--the individual as a whole--that makes us interested in them. Someone could smell like fresh chocolate chip cookies but still be the wrong person for you in the end. We tend to fall in love with the sum total of an individual, not any one character attribute. Thus, we not only love how they smell, but we also appreciate their sense of humor, the shape of their body, the tenor of their mind.

I suspect that for your father, while his sense of smell is altered, it isn't going to affect his attraction or connection to your mom. That relationship is well-established, and they are likely attached to one another in more ways than just via scent. While there are elements of attraction that deal with involuntary responses, such as sense of smell or hormone levels, remember that there are also voluntary responses to another individual. None of those other elements of attraction changed for your dad, just his sense of smell.

I feel like a complete harlot for asking this, but do I have any reason to concern about a recent hook up of mine? He was essentially rubbing his penis against my clitoris, but he wasn't wearing a condom. I was on my period though, so I'm wondering if I should have any reason to be concerned. He didn't orgasm, and neither did I, but I'm just kind of worried now.

God forbid that Naughty Nurse Kimpy should refer to anyone as a harlot... such words don't belong here, just so you know. You raise a very good question though, one that we can probably all benefit from.

There are two issues that need to be addressed: Safe sex (STD risk) and risk of pregnancy.

Did you have safe sex? In a word, NO. Unless you've seen your partner's STD test results, and have also tested clean yourself, you are at theoretically at risk for contracting some type of sexually transmitted disease. Remember, both herpes and HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) are transmitted via skin surface contact alone. For other STDs, like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV, infected bodily fluids need to come into contact with the surface of your skin or genitals.

Is there a risk of pregnancy? Technically, yes. A sexually aroused penis came in contact with your vaginal area. There are sperm present in pre-come, so there is a chance that sperm could have reached the opening of your vagina. Based on that information, how likely are you to be at risk for pregnancy? Your risk is very small, for the reasons you mentioned: You were on your period and he didn't ejaculate. Remember, though, there is still a chance to become pregnant while you are having your period, so that doesn't mean you can feel safe having unprotected sex during that time.

The bottom line? If you don't want to become pregnant, always use protection. If you don't want an STD, always use a condom. In the immortal words of my high school English teacher: "Celibates don't get STDs." In other words, the only way to be 100% safe from both is to abstain from having sex altogether.

I recommend that you follow up with your gynecologist to get tested for prenancy and/or STDs if you are still concerned. And while you're there, maybe discuss highly effective birth control options that will leave you feeling more secure should such a situation arise again.

I've always been curious about something. When a woman has sex for the first time and the hymen is broken, is it gone completely or just something that's...well flapping in the wind?

You might be surprised to learn how many questions I get about hymens. I continue to be amazed that such a small piece of skin can be the cause of so much ire and anxiety!

When the hymen is intact (i.e., you are still a virgin), it partially covers the entrance to your cooter. As you already know, it is torn or broken when an object large enough in thickness passes into the vaginal opening. Before you all start snickering, it doesn't necessarily have to be a penis--it could be several fingers penetrating that area, or a tampon, or some other kind of accidental trauma. Once it is torn, it is usually accompanied by some bleeding, but the amount of blood depends upon the individual and the thickness of the hymen.

There is a flap of skin located in your mouth, above your two front teeth, that is attached between your gums and your upper lip. This piece of skin is called the internal labial frenulum. (Don't laugh--that's the real name and it is in the mouth, I assure you!). This small flap of skin is similar to the hymen. If you were to accidentally slice it, it would merely free the gum from the lip. No hanging bit skin flapping in the wind. If you can picture that skin flap getting torn apart, you have the image of what happens to the hymen. Once the hymen has been torn, it heals into two separate flaps of skin, one on either side of your vaginal entrance. It stretches over time, and after childbirth, so that the vaginal opening loosens up. Hence, the term "tight" for a woman who hasn't had many sexual encounters.