Monday, December 7, 2009

Fantasy Mother loves Consequencias

Edward. I love him. I love almost all incarnations of him, but give me a seriously damaged Edward and my heart yearns for him, convinced that I, and only I, can fix him.

Yeah well, maybe Bella can too.

Which brings us to this incredible story, Consecuencias by Gustariana.

Rarely have we seen Edward such a mess. The product of a dysfunctional foster care system, he becomes the epitome of the brilliant, unemotional man whose only pleasure in life is through sex - lots of sex, with as many partners as he can find. His marriage to Tanya is simply a convenience. Not only that, but she’s a raging bitch, allowing us to hate on her without a pang of guilt, adding to our desperate need to rescue this poor man from his life, to show him how to love.

Now, let’s dump into this delicious stew a Jacob we can love to hate. Jacob’s a nice guy, Sorta. He’s been in a long and comfortable marriage with Bella, both of them bored and dissatisfied with their lack of sexual rapport. Jacob gets it into his head that swinging will solve their problems, and perhaps spice up their marriage. Bella, as the best depiction of a milquetoast I’ve ever seen in fanfic, hates the idea but agrees. For Jacob. Leaves one wondering what kind of relationship they have at all.

Hehehe. Even better.

Enter Edward. Tall, gorgeous, green-eyed, bronze-haired, and an expert at all things sexual. And, of course, he spies Bella at a swinger’s party, first wanting to protect her, and then desperately wanting to take her.

I’m panting at the memory.

Anyway, enough of how much I want this man.

To me, what makes a lemon great is the emotional quality. I don’t need clinical descriptions – I’m old enough to know what parts fit where. What makes the short hairs on my neck stand up straight, and that weird feeling punch me in the gut are the thoughts before, during, and after sex.

But here, Gustariana has given us even more. In this entire WIP, Bella and Edward have made love only once, and although the chapter posted months ago the memory still reverberates with this reader. Why? Because, for both of them, it was a pivotal moment in their lives. And again, for both of them, they felt it – the difference, the connection - and then pulled away.

For different reasons.

I could see every emotion reflected on her face. Wonder, lust, pleasure. Never before had I felt such a connection with someone. Never before had I been with anyone like her. She was giving all of herself to me. No pretenses, no pushing back against me. No race to the finish line. It was as if she didn't know how to "just fuck" - how to be selfish in the pursuit of her own pleasure. With her it couldn't be just sex, because even if she didn't realize it, she was giving me everything she was. With every caress, every moan, every whimper; with the way she looked at me with her expressive brown eyes, now half-lidded; everything she did, she meant.

This was a first for Edward, and he lost himself in it. But before it could go on for too long…

Never, never before had I been this way with anyone. The second I realized it, something snapped inside me. Who was I trying to fool, acting this way? I couldn't be like this. It was a sick act that needed to stop.

And for Bella, it was no different, but coming at her from another direction.

He was not worshiping me or lavishing me with sweet caresses. He was consuming me. Every inch of me.

And I didn't care that I was fully exposed, or that the door was slightly ajar. Or that my husband was fucking a stranger. Nothing at that moment meant anything to me. I cared for nothing, but the feel of him in me. The way his body seemed to be made to fit me.

Never, never before had I felt this electricity, the all-consuming need to kiss, and bite, and pant. He had taken over my body, my emotions. He made me feel desired and beautiful.

All rational thought left me when I felt him thrust deeper than before. I had never felt so wonderfully full. With every thrust I could feel myself getting closer to the edge. The waves of pleasure that crashed into me each time he moved were stronger and higher every time.

And like Edward, in one fell swoop everything that had just happened to her was open to question, not real, overlaid with her own issues and failures. Different from his, but with the same heartbreaking result.

I felt him slip from inside me and tumble down in bed. I loosened my grip on the post and laid down next to him as I waited for my breathing to return back to normal.

Then, with a force and speed that left me breathless again, the realization of what I had done hit me. Like the proverbial ton of bricks.

Cheater, my mind screamed at me. I was a cheater.

This is what makes Gustariana a master at this, and this is why I’ll wait months for the next update, knowing when they finally make love again my husband will have to pull out the Swiffer to clean me off the floor. Course, I won’t be able to tell him why…

Fantasy Mother is the author of "The Deluded" and "Perchance to Dream" two marvelous AU stories that I highly recommend. I also just found out she lives twenty minutes from me and hopefully we can hook up to see New Moon. xo~ninapolitan