Friday, December 25, 2009

A little bit of Holiday Cheer from Us to You

There's not much I love more than Christmas. Seriously - all the festivities and tradition and loved ones and friends and happiness that abounds (I'm choosing to ignore the bastards that fill the stores this time of year). Now, what could be better than Christmas? How about Edward, Bella and Christmas? I know, I died a little, too. Here are some great xmas stories from around the fandom...some are old, some are new, but they are all worth the read.

Following a lifetime of extremely disappointing holidays, Bella literally runs into Edward in a coffee shop, and he decides to give her her first enjoyable holiday. How does he do that, you ask? He brings them both some "Holiday Spirit" of course! AH

Mistletoe and Wine
Bella is all alone in Seattle this Christmas. Can an old school friend give her some festive cheer? A smutty E/B one-shot.

I am a fucking child when it comes to Christmas!! I bloody bloody love it! :)
I love everything about it. Its all about family times for me. - complete with trifle, lashings of gluwhein(mulled wine) & blazing barneys at 4 in the morning on Christmas Eve as everyone falls out! :D :D :D

This is my fave christmas story thus far. & YES its from two of our own. BUT its brillo & fun & fucking fabbio & snort & guffaw out loud funny! Plus it has a family even more dysfunctional than mine! (who knew it was possible! ;) ).

This is my fave fluffy christmas tale!
A cosy, wintery Bella & Edward finally realising their connection. As warming as a cup of hot choc with cinnamon! :)

Here's some Gluhwein to beat the winter chill (translated means glow wine - it really does give you that! ;)
makes about 700 ml (1 1/4 pt).
600 ml (1 pt) red wine
75 g (3 oz) brown sugar
2 sticks cinnamon about 5 cm (2 in) long
1 lemon stuck with cloves
150 ml (1/4 pt) brandy
1. Put all the ingredients except the brandy in a pan, bring to simmering point and simmer gently with the lid on for 2-4 minutes.

2. Remove from the heat, add the brandy, strain and serve at once. - keep warm on a gentle heat - best in a slow cooker or rice cooker - away from direct flame...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all you lovely pervlings! May you get your stockings stuffed good & proper! ;) Lotsa love. Emmy. xxxxx

Merry Christmas Everyone! I bring presents for the perv in all of us. All pervs need a way to show our perviness this holiday season. Nothing says perv like a Golden Cock Ornament. And if you happen to butter your bread on both sides or completely on the other side there's a special ornament just for you; The Gilded Vag Ormament.

Now for the Pack fan in your life there are these Wolf Paw Pasties. Your SO will howl at the moon when you wear these bad boys.

I happen to love a little holiday loving. So for my holiday themed rec I give you...

Lets just say that Vixen's Edward is truly fucked in this fic that takes place at an office holiday party.

Have yourselves a Merry Little Christmas.

Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays. My husband used to mock me mercilessly, but eventually gave in to the fact that I would always go slightly overboard. I've done less the last few years, but this year was back to normal, with the tree going up on December 1, and stockings hung shortly after. The only thing I failed epically at this year was hanging lights outside, and I cry weather-related interference -- I'm not used to dealing with snow, and it snowed heavily before I could get them all hung.

I'm not a religious person, so Christmas holds no spiritual meaning for me. What has made me the most filled with Christmas spirit this year, however, has been the love, support, and friendship surrounding me. I could never adequately express how much the friendship of those around me has meant. To each person that has taken the time to leave a review, send a PM, or tweet something positive -- thank you.

I picked Wishlist, by AmethystJackson as my Christmas-themed oneshot. I really love the build up and anticipation in this, and I hope you do, too!

The Christmas Potato

When I was a child I used to beg my mom to feed me raw potatoes. Yep. Raw. She'd peel and clean them and hand them over whole and I'd eat them like apples. She'd only give me one a week, because she thought they'd make me sick. How does this pertain to Christmas?

When I was five, I asked for my Christmas potato.

My dad hated that she let me eat raw potatoes, so I'd have to hide from him when I got one. Pop and my older brother and sister were finishing the tree and I had my potato in my hand looking for somewhere to hide.

I chose the Christmas tree as my hiding nook. I crawled behind the tree, a real one mind you, knocking ornaments down as I went, I crouched down behind it to enjoy my Seasonal Spud. As I was eating my Holiday Tuber, my dad yelled for me and I panicked. Trying to crawl back out with my half-eaten tater was hard and my shirt got caught as I was nearly home free.

As I tried to free myself, I only made it worse. The more I wiggled, the more the tree shook, the more scared I got and rightly so. My dad saw my plight and freed my shirt from the bottom branch but as I got to my feet. The tree crashed down on top of me.

Poor Christmas Potato. My festive root was covered in needles and I was upset. I didn't realize I too was covered in needles, broken ornaments and sap.

A lot of stitches, band-aids and a popsicle for my troubles later, I was home, sans Christmas Potato.

True story.

Merry Christmas Mr. Cullen

Drinks Nina likes.

I sit here in the midst of a Christmas Eve blizzard with a roaring fire in the background. So excited to be getting a White Christmas. It has always been one of my favorite times of year. The kids are excited and so are we.

Two new Christmas one-shots that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Bella has one purpose in life; to make partner at her law firm by 35. She has no time for silly holidays and certainly no time for love. One encounter at the office Christmas party changes everything.

Secrets and Santas
When Bella is assigned quiet Edward Masen for her secret Santa, she has no clue what to get him. The plan: get to know him. The outcome: what she could have never anticipated.

I'm gonna set the mood by sharing a joke. ahem *clears throat* What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stopped after three hos. GET IT?! (my husband desperately wanted me to share that. So there ya go hubs)

As I write this, I am listening to Nsync's Merry Christmas and feeling silly as I sing along. But it's better than singing Mary Did You Know, which has been eternally ruined for me since having a daughter by the same name. *shakes fist* stupid family running that joke into the ground *shakes harder*

This Christmas I would like to rec a couple o/s for your enjoyment. The first is from my main girl Lipsmacked. She wrote it awhile ago and decided to post now. Then while discussing possible titles, she joked about something. I told her to use that. She did. Awesome. I like it because it's AU and I don't read nearly enough AU.

One- Shot : Edward and Bella celebrate their first Christmas with their growing family after their run in with the Volturi. ExB All Vamp -- Normal Couples. Thank 4theluvofMary for the title.

Then because I have a soft spot for AH and a Bella and Edward who are in love with each other but don't quite know it yet...

My Holiday smutty one shot! Bella and Edward have some drunken fun after the office Christmas party. The downside: she doesn't remember any of it at first. Rated M for the sex and some language.

And now, because what kind of Christmas would it be without some kind of sexual desecration...I present to you:

I've not tried out the recipe. So someone will have to let me know if they are tasty. I just can't bring myself to make those when I have a 2 year old running around, begging to help me in the kitchen. She'd probably try to reproduce the pictures with her stuffed animals. I mean, I *did* catch her tongueing her Mr. Potato Head and who the hell knows where she picked that up from? *shifty eyes*

Let's have the pictures do the talking, shall we?

(I love that he's all bug eyed and shit from the awesome ginger-doggy style sexin)

(I bet this could be incorporated into a o/s. "His cock tasted so good, like gingersnaps"...hahaha)
and my personal favorite...

(If you look closely, which trust me I did, you can see just exactly what the Gingerbread Man is workin with. But I'm a bit confused as to why his eyes are he needs to get all up close and personal with her ginger-muff)

In closing, may your stockings be filled *nudge nudge* and your spirits *cough*alcohol*cough* be bright. But in all seriousness, for those who celebrate it, Merry (or Happy depending on where you live) Christmas. Spend it with those you love and take time to sit back and enjoy the month(s) of hustle and bustle leading up to this one special day. Because when it comes down to it, the presents aren't what's most important right?

Dear Santa,

I have been a very very good girl this year…what? I swear!! Okay, so maybe I was on the naughty list for a very short time. (I’m going to blame that on Nina and her DILF contest!! HAHAHA!!) But surely I have moved over to the nice list because usually, when I’m naughty…it makes someone else feel nice – That should count, right??

So these are the things that I want to see under my tree this year;

1. More Emmett/Bella smuttiness…PLEASE!! I want to see more stories like Gemmabobella’s little bit of loveliness Let’s Get Physical (which I paid for an out take of for The Fandom Gives Back, and will totally be sharing with you all!!)

2. Also I would like MORE EMMETT in general! Like maybe a certain author would write a little bit of her Bella/Rose story and insert (in many different ways) the wonderfulness that is Emmett into their play time. I mean really can you imagine Emmett mixed in amongst this… ??

3. I really want Edward and Jasper to just DO IT!! I love me some Edward/Jasper slashiness…but the boys don’t seem to be getting enough!! I need them to get some more often in two of my favorites;

4. Oh, and if you can’t get me more Emmett, I will just take this wrapped up with a big bow (and judging by pics, we are talking a REALLY BIG BOW!!)

I think that is all I have on my list Santa. But I do have a little Christmas gift for you too…Merry Christmas, Baby by twighlit. Of course, it’s Emmett, Rose and a Fredrick’s of Hollywood Santa lingerie with vinyl boots!! What Rose won’t do to get out of wearing that…

Love, qjmom

PS: I know that Nina wants lots of panties in her stocking!!
I also wanted to thank all of these lovely pervy ladies for letting me participate in one of my fave blogs...I loved being the inaugural Honorary Perv!! Love all of you girls!!


Alby Mangroves said...

Seriously, those gingersnaps.. I laughed so hard I'm crying right now. They're fan-fucking-tastic!

MuffNbutter said...

I just want to say thank you for including my oneshot "Holiday Spirit" in the post here... I was so excited to see it! XD

And those cookies had me giggling up a storm, and therefore receiving odd looks from those surrounding me... Thanks for the smile, and thanks for the laugh!